Friday, July 24, 2015

Bringing Respect Back into the Marriage

Whether you believe in God or not it is sooooo important to respect our husbands. Not only because God calls us to love, honor and respect our husbands but also because it is essential for a positive marriage. Women have fought to become equals, to be able to go to college, have a career and vote. But in today's society it seems that women no longer care to be equals, instead they want to be in charge. It is becoming socially acceptable for women to rule over, control and disrespect their husbands in private and public. 

The media now a days portrays men as being big lazy dummy's that are good for nothing. And yes, I will admit some men may fit in this stereotype but I honestly partly blame us women for them acting that way. If we treated our men like actual men and respected them I feel that their attitudes would be different. Also sometimes it stems deeper, some men may already be pre-wired with this attitude because of how they saw their mom treat their dad. But with help from a respectful woman by their side they will realize their role as a man and work on fulfilling it. 


Here are a few things we need to stop doing

  • Treating him like a child. Wives shouldn't talk down to their husbands as if they are lesser than them, scold them or punish them. He is your best friend, your equal, your partner in life. Therefore he needs to be treated as such. Some may be surprised how well a conversation will go if you change your tone and have some respect. Years of being talked down to will ruin his spirit and make him resent you.
  • Micromanaging his time. Do you try to control everything your best girlfriends do? If so how did that work out for you? Your husband is a human being too that had likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests before you were married and I can guarantee that he still does. They may change as time goes on because people change as they age and mature. As his wife you should notice what makes his heart happy and want him to pursue it. It should give you joy to see him enjoying himself. And the same goes the other way. Do you want someone micromanaging your time and activities all the time? I don't!!! 
  • Not allowing time with friends. Absence really can make the heart grow fonder. It is so important for him to have guy time with friends away from you. Knowing that when he gets home he will be welcomed with hugs, kisses and smiles.  It should make you happy that he has friends that love him for who he is and make him happy. 
  • Slandering his name. Don't slander your husbands name to others or put him down. (Proverbs 31:11) "The heart of her husband trusts her..." When you married him you accepted him flaws and all. He trusts you to keep those to yourself. Talking badly about him to others and pointing out his flaws will not only tear down his character and hurt him but it will make you bitter inside.

How to Show Respect:
  • Love him with your whole heart and Encourage him
  • Find pleasure in what makes him happy
  • Be genuine. Do not fake a happy attitude actually work on having one!
  • Make the home a peaceful safe place to come home to
  • Express in words how much you love and respect him
  • Express in actions how much you respect him. With your attitude and behavior
  • Let him do things his way. Sometimes we think we know a better way or we really do, but it's important to let him do things his own way even if it may take a little longer or be more work. 
  • Stay consistent!!! Yes it is easy to love and respect someone when things are going great. Remember to continue to show love and respect even when things aren't so good.


I am constantly reminding myself of these things and it can be a real struggle sometimes. But I know that my husband, marriage and future children deserve it.







Bibles Verses About Being A Wife:



It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 21:9



Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.






1 Peter 3:1-6




But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of every wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:3



However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-24




And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.









Titus 2:4-5





Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

Proverbs 31
10 
[b]A wife of noble character who can find?

    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 
Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.
12 
She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.
13 
She selects wool and flax

    and works with eager hands.
14 
She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 
She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 
She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 
She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 
She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 
In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 
She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 
She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 
She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 
She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 
She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 
Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 
“Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.





This is a great bible based book to read if you want to strengthen your marriage. This is a book that would benefit being read once a year as a reminder as well :)

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